


Fall On Me

by rainbowskissors



Series: The Tudor Thorns [1]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anne the Sexpert, F/F, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Six the Musical References, Useless Lesbians, gay pining, i don't even remember writing this lmao, she's everywhere istg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28029936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowskissors/pseuds/rainbowskissors
Summary: After pulling away the final book, the black one was now more visible. It was the average size of a journal, like one of the many notebooks Cathy had. Without the other thick, heavy books leaning against it, the journal had no support and fell over, revealing the cover to Cathy.JOURNAL - Property of Katherine Howard(or, cathy finds kat's journal in her room and proceeds to return it; antics and mayhem ensue)
Relationships: Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Series: The Tudor Thorns [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057421
Comments: 63
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooooo it’s izzy here
> 
> tbh i don’t even remember writing this
> 
> so basically i’m looking through all the stories/fanfics i’ve written during the pandemic, and the ones that i like are getting posted. 
> 
> turns out i’m not a bad writer - i guess i focus better when i don’t have any priorities. i really like it ngl -- i stan parrward friendship/gaybabies soooooo have this
> 
> enjoy :3
> 
> \----
> 
> TW's: vomiting
> 
> title from 'fall on me' by christina aguilera + a great big world

Cathy reached clumsily for her coffee mug, almost knocking it off her desk absentmindedly. Her movements were slow and sluggish, showing that she was extremely sleep-deprived.

She’d been staring at her computer screen for almost seven hours on end, and it was almost 4am - she hadn’t slept since 9pm. 

The doc displayed on her screen had over 200 pages of writing, which was pretty impressive to anyone other than Cathy. But right now, it was just blurry squiggles dancing around in her vision.

Cathy brought her red mug to her lips and tipped her head back, expecting now-cooled down brown liquid to pour down her throat and give her a burst of energy. 

Her neck cracked painfully as she tipped her head back as far as it would go, realizing that her cup was empty.

Silent grumbles. She would have to get up and make more coffee.

As soon as Cathy stood up, she was aware of an... uncomfortable feeling in her abdomen. Namely...

Forgetting all about her coffee, Cathy quickly placed her mug down and rushed to the bathroom. Thankfully she didn’t forget to lock the door.

Must’ve been the several cups she’d downed to stay awake while writing her document.

When she was done, she washed her hands and left the bathroom, her body feeling like it was weighed down. Probably from lack of sleep, but Cathy was too stubborn to admit it to herself.

Now Cathy felt a bit more awake. Seeing as she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep, and she was bored of writing, she decided to close her computer and find something else to do. Maybe read a book.

Cathy crossed her messy room, stepping over piles of clothes, books and various other things, to her pride and joy: the bookshelf.

Cathy had a tall room. The ceiling reached almost twice as tall as her, and was the tallest out of all the queens’ rooms. And so, her bookshelf obviously fit that height. It spanned about 10 feet into the air, almost cracking under the weight of all the volumes Cathy had crammed in the shelves. It was made of a rich, maroon wood, and smelled fresh despite its age.

Against her oyster-grey wall was a ladder, beside the shelves. Cathy used it to reach the books at the very top of the bookshelf. 

First, she scanned the books on the bottom shelves, where she could reach without the use of the ladder. She brushed her right finger across the spines, studying the titles.

There were a few books that stuck out significantly, creating a bulge. As if something was hiding behind it.

Strange.

Curious, Cathy pulled away the first volume, careful not to crack the fragile spine. She secured the book in the crook of her arm, then pulled away the next one.

In the small gap, she could see something black. It looked kind of like another book. 

But what was that doing back here, in Cathy’s bookshelf? She’d kept a neat mental record of every single book she’d ever had in her possession. She would definitely know if she’d hidden one in her bookshelf. Cathy had never seen this book before.

After pulling away the final book, the black book was now more visible. It was the average size of a notebook, like one of the many journals Cathy had. Without the other books leaning against it, the book had no support and fell over, revealing the cover to Cathy.

_ JOURNAL - Property of Katherine Howard _

Okay, now Cathy felt like she was intruding on Kat’s privacy. But why was her journal in her room?

Cathy debated on what to do. Should she open the journal? That would be outright rude. 

Finally, Cathy decided to be a good person and keep the book closed, instead choosing to return it to her.

Cathy grabbed the journal in her free hand and placed it on the floor so she could return the stack of books in her hand. After that, she picked it back up and crossed over to her desk.

She opened one of the drawers and pulled out a pink sticky note- Kat’s favourite colour. She then took a black pen and proceeded to write her a note in her distinct neat script.

**_Kat-_ **

**_I found this in my room. Wasn’t sure if you put it here, but I just wanted to return it._ **

She stuck the note onto the journal, then crept out of her room.

It was dark in the hallway, understandably. After all, it  _ was _ 4 in the morning.

Cathy passed Anna’s room, then Jane’s, then Lina’s. The fourth room was Kat’s. On the door there was a paper sign that declared in glittery pink gel pen:

KAT’S ROOM - KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING <3

She couldn’t help but smirk. Kat was still a child in so many ways. She was the youngest of the group, even though she was already an adult, and the group loved to baby her. Especially Anne, the over-protective cousin.

Cathy stopped outside the room, her hand hovering above Kat’s doorknob. Should she go in and place the journal on Kat’s desk? Should she just slip it under the door and go back to her room?

She decided to just slide the journal under the door. It would be quieter, and there would be less of a chance that she would wake Kat up. 

She crouched down, ignoring the pricks of stiffness that shot through her knees, and positioned the journal at the crack between the floor and the door.

She pushed it through as quickly as she could, and watched as the black corner disappeared through the crack. She stood up with a satisfied smile, and turned to go back to her room.

She was almost back in her room when footsteps piercing the quiet caused her to freeze. Had she woken someone up? Cathy spun around, trying to detect where the footsteps were coming from.

Kat’s room. Weird. Kat was the second deepest sleeper of all the queens, besides Anne, of course. How had she woken her up so easily?

The doorknob on Kat’s side of the door turned, and the door opened, revealing Kat’s face in the dim light filtering in from the window.

At first Cathy was rooted to the ground. Kat looked terrible, even by waking up standards.

Her skin seemed pale, her lips were dry and cracked, and most noticeably, her normally vibrant, warm brown eyes seemed hollow, as if all the light had been sucked out.

Complimenting her dead eyes were huge purplish-black spots under them, as if Kat hadn’t slept for days.

And her eyes were red and puffy as well, as if she’d just been crying. 

“Jesus, Kat. Are you alright?” Cathy exclaimed quietly, immediately rushing over to the young queen. Kat just looked up at her from her side of the room silently. The only noise she made was a sniffle.

“Kat,” Cathy repeated. She was now worried sick. Had something happened? What had rendered the fifth queen so... lifeless?

Kat suddenly broke down into sobs. Silent sobs. Cathy could only watch in shock as she collapsed to the floor, her body heaving. There was barely any sound coming out of her, as if she was on mute. 

Cathy fell to her knees beside Kat, and placed her hands on her shoulders. Kat didn’t look up at her, but Cathy could still see the tears flowing freely from her eyes.

Cathy rubbed her shoulders, trying to calm her down. What the fuck was happening?

“Come, Kat,” Cathy said in a hushed voice. She linked her arm with Kat’s, and with a bit of difficuty, heaved her to her feet. Kat’s hand flew to her mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that were coming out.

Shit. Not just sobs were coming out now.

“Oh, sweetie, come,” Cathy whispered. She guided Kat to her bathroom, quickly switching the lights on and pushing her forwards over the toilet. Kat removed her hand from her mouth, and let the puke spill out. As she vomited out, Kat’s hand wiped her vomit off on her pyjama pants, smearing gross-looking bile on them. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Cathy murmured. She wasn’t exactly an expert at being comforting or motherly- that was more Lina and Jane’s department. But Cathy didn’t worry about that right now. Kat needed her, there was no time to worry about not doing it right. She could only pray she was making Kat feel better.

After a bit, the vomiting slowed to a few heaves every couple of minutes. Kat was still crying, tears trailing down her cheeks. She’d squeezed her eyes shut and hadn’t opened them for the past disastrous moments. 

“Deep breaths,” Cathy told her, rubbing her back in circles. 

Now, Cathy could feel the sweat through Kat’s shirt. And the heat that was coming off of her in waves. 

Nervous, Cathy put the back of her hand against Kat’s head and recoiled in shock. Her forehead was coated in sweat and was burning. 

There was no doubt about it. Kat was seriously sick.

“Kat, Kat. Look at me,” Cathy pleaded. Kat turned her head to the other side, studying the tiled walls and refusing to look at her. 

Gently, Cathy took Kat’s chin and turned it to face her. At first, Kat screwed her eyes shut, but after a moment, she opened one eye guiltily. She took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Honey, it’s okay,” Cathy assured her. “But you’re really sick, let me help you,” she said. Helplessly, Kat nodded and stood up, bracing against the side of the toilet and pushing herself to her feet.

Cathy grasped Kat’s clammy hand in her own, ignoring the discomfort, and led Kat out of the bathroom. She seated Kat down on the bed, patting her on the knee and telling her she would go get her water. Kat nodded silently and watched Cathy cross the room.

It was then that the black journal caught Cathy’s eye. It was lying, open-faced on the ground as if Kat had been reading it on the floor. Cathy bent down to pick it up, noticing Kat’s loopy writing covering the pages.

From behind her, Kat lunged off the bed and grabbed the journal from off the ground, frantically pulling it away from her. Cathy turned to her in surprise, and saw that Kat’s face was pale and scared.

“Oh, sorry, was that private?” Cathy said quickly. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry,” she apologized profusely. Kat hugged the closed journal to her chest.

“It’s okay,” she croaked. The first words she’d spoken since Cathy had seen her that night. Her voice sounded hoarse and raw, and Cathy was reminded that she was going to get her water.

“I’ll go get the water now,” Cathy excused herself, before leaving the room to go downstairs. As she descended the stairs, she wondered. What could have Kat wanted to hide so badly? For as long as she’d known the sweet, kind queen, Kat had never kept any secrets from all of them unless she’d been sworn to.

Cathy entered the kitchen, turning on the lights. She went over to the cupboard and took out a glass, then filled it with cold water from the tap. She then turned off the lights and went back upstairs.

“Here,” she said, handing it to Kat once she came into her room again. Kat gulped it down in one go as Cathy closed the door behind her and went to sit beside her. She chuckled.

“Thirsty, aren’t you?” she joked, to which Kat cracked a small smile Cathy returned. Kat set the glass down on her side table, then clasped her hands together, fiddling her fingers together.

“You feeling any better?” Cathy asked quietly, placing a hand on Kat’s knee. At first, the queen tensed up, but then relaxed.

Oh. Shit. It must have been one of her abuse nightmares, Cathy realized. She jerked her hand away as soon as she remembered, feeling terrible. 

“It’s okay,” Kat repeated softly, placing her hand on top of Cathy’s. Although her hand was still clammy and warm, it felt good against Cathy’s cold ones. “It wasn’t that,” Kat said, choking out the last word as she saw the look in Cathy’s eyes.

For a while they just sat in silence. Cathy’s eyes wandered around the room, taking in Kat’s cute little decorations. There were little cat figurines scattered around the room, of varying breeds and colours, but all of the same style. 

She also had plenty of photographs with different shades of pink frames encasing them, most of which were of her and the rest of the queens. The others were of Kat’s former dogs, Magic and Wolfie, who now lived at a farm.

“I overreacted about the journal,” Kat mumbled. It was so quiet Cathy wasn’t sure she’d heard her right. 

“No, it was my fault for peeking. I shouldn’t have done that,” Cathy admitted guiltily. Then she remembered Kat was sick, and almost facepalmed. 

“Are you feeling better now?” Cathy asked, to which Kat shrugged. Her eyes were a bit livelier, showing that she was, indeed, feeling better, but just barely. They focused on her favourite picture of her dogs, in the middle of her dresser. It showed Magic and Wolfie snuggling up together, asleep, in chicken costumes.

Cathy could feel Kat’s temperature had cooled, and her hand wasn’t clammy anymore. She let out an inward sigh of relief, but she still wondered why Kat had gotten so sick.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what caused you to feel so sick?” Cathy questioned softly. She regretted it when Kat stiffened and unconsciously jerked her hand away from Cathy’s.

“You don’t need to tell me,” Cathy added hurriedly. Kat let out an audible breath that she seemed to have been holding for a while, and turned to face Cathy.

“No, you deserve to know. After all the trouble I caused you,” Kat whispered. Cathy opened her mouth to protest, but realized there wasn’t a point. Kat’s eyes had gotten a sort of defensive, faraway look.

“It was what I’d written in the journal. Which, by the way, I’d hidden in your room because I didn’t want to see it anymore,” Kat told her. When Cathy gave her a confused look, Kat continued.

“The books looked so old and dusty, I thought you weren’t reading them anymore, so I thought it was a good hiding spot.”

“Hey!” Cathy protested playfully, poking Kat in the arm. “I still read them!”

Kat let out a giggle, one that Cathy was used to hearing. It comforted her a little bit, especially after what had just happened.

“Anyways, I’d written some... pretty personal stuff in there,” Kat said, hugging her knees to her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs. Her face was flushed a little bit, but she didn’t look like she would be sick. Just... embarrassed?

Kat let out a sigh, picking at the now dry smear of vomit on her pants. “I’d normally  _ never _ tell you what was in there, but... I’m tired, it’s 4 in the morning, and I’m not me anyways,” Kat said, accenting the ‘never’ with her hands in a cancelling motion. 

Cathy let out a small gust of air through her nose in amusement, and let Kat continue.

“I, uh,” Kat mumbled, suddeny tripping on her words. Cathy gave her a comforting smile, and Kat returned it before going on.

“I... might like girls..?” Kat whispered, turning her head away from Cathy. Her pink hair almost whipped Cathy in the face, but she barely noticed.

If Cathy thought about it in all honesty, there was no goddamn wonder Kat would like girls. Considering how shitty men had treated her in their past lives, Cathy absolutely respected if Kat wouldn’t ever want to give the opposite gender a chance ever again.

“Do you want my personal opinion on that?” Cathy asked after a while. Kat hesitantly nodded, and Cathy pulled her arm away so she could look at Kat. She looked extremely nervous, but softened when she saw the support in her eyes.

“Same.”

The moment the word left her mouth, Cathy bit her tongue.

Okay, yes. Cathy was into girls. She wasn’t ashamed of that.

But that was  _ not _ what she had been planning to say. She’d meant to tell Kat that she had her support no matter what, that she wouldn’t judge and neither would the other queens.

“Wait, really?”

So maybe Cathy hadn’t said what she’d originally intended to. But it was worth it to see the overjoyed look on Kat’s face. 

Maybe letting Kat know she wasn’t alone was more reassuring.

“I- yeah?” Cathy said with a soft chuckle. Kat pulled her into a tight hug before letting go again. She now looked much happier, as if letting that out had lightened a weight off her shoulders.

“Is that what you’d written in the journal?” Cathy asked her tentatively, cocking her head. Kat let out a flustered sigh. 

“There were two whole fucking paragraphs about my crush, Cath,” Kat whined helplessly. “Do you really think I’d be okay with you reading about it?”

She bit her lip and fell silent, playing with the loose threads on her shirt. Cathy, on the other hand, couldn’t help but smirk widely. Kat noticed the expression on her face and went pale.

“Shit. I really said that out loud, didn’t I?” she mumbled, before Cathy tackled her to the bed and pinned her down. 

“Who is it?” she teased with a wicked grin. Kat squirmed under her weight, struggling to break free but also laughing. The two play fought, trying to overpower each other. They rolled back and forth on Kat’s bed, messing all the pillows and covers up.

Out of breath, Cathy climbed off of Kat with a victorious grin. “I won!” she declared. Kat pouted. “No fair! You’re taller than me,” she complained, to which Cathy let out a snicker.

“Since I won,” she went on. “I get to decide your fate,” she said ominously. Kat looked a bit scared, even though she knew it was just a game.

“Who is your crush?” Cathy asked, trying to make her voice go as low as possible, while keeping a straight face. 

The corner of Kat’s mouth twitched upwards, and that was all it took for Cathy to collapse. She fell back on her side, squeezing her eyes shut as she giggled uncontrollably.

“Jeez, how much caffeine are you hyped up on?” Kat taunted, tickling Cathy, who had fallen onto her back. She squealed and laughed even harder as Kat persisted, until Cathy finally begged for her to stop.

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry!” she choked out in between laughter and gasps for air. Kat raised an eyebrow but stopped tickling her, instead giving Cathy some space.

The two sat in a bit of quiet after that, during which Cathy struggled to regain her breath.

“What a night,” Cathy commented to break the silence. She glanced over to Kat’s clock on her nightstand, and was shocked when she saw it read 5:30am.

“You must be exhausted,” she said, turning back to Kat. Kat seemed to shake from a stupor, blinking a few times before smiling back at Cathy.

“No, I’m... okay,” Kat said, but a yawn in the middle of the sentence betrayed her. Cathy snickered. “If you say so,” she said, raising her eyebrows in amusement.

Cathy brushed the back of Kat’s hand with her hand with her thumb before sitting up straighter and clearing her throat. “I should let you sleep.”

“But don’t you want to know my crush?” Kat asked with an exaggerated pout on her face. Cathy laughed. As tempting as it was... she knew she had to let Kat rest.

“Tomorrow, you  _ have _ to tell me,” Cathy told her with a grin. Kat rolled her eyes but let out a “Fiiiiiiiiiiiine.”

“At least tuck me in?” the pink queen asked quietly, to which Cathy steadily agreed to. 

Kat let out a whoop of happiness and crawled under her covers, leaning her head back against her pillow. Cathy brought the covers up to Kat’s chin, and Kat brought her arms on top of the covers.

“Good night, Kitty,” Cathy called softly as she got off the bed and crossed over to the door. She opened it and slipped out, casting Kat one last smile over her shoulder before she closed the door and went back to her room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Diary,
> 
> Fuck.
> 
> Shit!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i projecting severely onto kat?? yes.
> 
> but it ultimately creates some *quality* parrward content, which is really all i care about. so i’m willing to exploit myself for the sake of the readers 😌✌️
> 
> enjoy !!

_Dear Diary,_

_Fuck._

_Shit!!!_

Kat stared at the cusses on her page, pursing her lips. Then she took the tip of her pen and crossed them out. She couldn’t help it- having to refrain from swearing around her ‘family’ was a habit she wasn’t able to break easily.

Then, she continued writing.

_I screwed up._

_Last night, I had a mental breakdown, after reading this journal. Specifically... the entry I spent about an hour writing. You know, that one._

_Cathy came to return it to me because my dumbass left it in her room, thinking she wouldn't see it._

_At least she didn't read it. Hopefully. Oh god, now I’m scared... I haven’t seen her all day and she hasn’t said anything about it yet. Maybe that’s a good thing, though._

_I think I was mentally unstable or something, or maybe I had a flashback... who knows. But anyways, I read last week's entry.. and I broke down. Cathy came and rescued me, because I started vomiting everywhere._

_Motherfreaking_ _Cathy_ _._

_Of all the queens that could have come, of course the universe gave me her._

_Actually, that sounds quite rude. Let me rephrase myself: I am a freaking_ **_gay mess_ ** _around her._

The pink queen hesitated after adding the fullstop to the sentence. Had she really just written that?

Well, it was true. Kat couldn’t deny it.

_The only reason I didn't have a gay aneurysm last night was probably because I was high on sleeping pills or something, or maybe delirious from lack of sleep. Whatever it was, Cathy was the only other person awake at 4am, of course. So she came to my rescue like a knight in shining armor._

Kat pondered that thought for longer than she’d have liked to admit.

Cathy would _definitely_ look quite nice in shining armor. The gleaming silver would compliment the blue bandanna she always wore on her poofy hair--

And _that_ was where Kat mentally punched her gay brain, causing that ~~mentally pleasing~~ thought to cease continuing. 

_Anyways... my thoughts aren't even coherent here. But let me just say, last night I freaking came out to Cathy. Cathy !!!!!!!_

_As I said before, I think I was hyped up on adrenaline or exhaustion. Because why in the world would I come out to Cathy?? My crush of one year, 2 months, and 34 days?_

_Oh god, I even know the exact day._

_Fuck me._

_You know what? I’m so done. My hand also hurts so I’m closing off this half-ass entry._

_\-- Kitten_

And with that, Kat closed her journal, exhaling a sigh through her lips. Even though she'd vented out her problems, she still had plenty of built up tension in her nerves.

She closed her journal, but didn't put it away just yet. Grasping the black book in her hand, she ran and flopped onto her bed, sinking into the sheets and wriggling around to get comfortable.

 _This is so self-destructive,_ she thought to herself as she flipped open the journal, looking for the two paragraphs she'd written about a certain Cathy-in-shining-armor.

As Kat finally found the page, she paused for a second. Why was she doing this? The last time she'd read those paragraphs was a week ago, and it had been quite an eventful night, to say the least. Did she _want_ to have a panic attack all over again?

Scratch the doubt. She knew perfectly well why.

All the other queens were out of the house at the moment, save for Jane, who was sleeping. She'd been tired, so she'd stayed behind. But other than that, Kat had the house to herself. It was a peaceful, uneventful Friday night, and Kat was alone with her feelings.

She was sad, lonely, and feeling pretty lovesick.

Maybe that's why she wanted to read what she'd written about the blue queen. 

Call her weak, but Kat believed she was, at the least, a mediocre writer, and she desperately wanted to immerse herself in gay feelings. She was all alone, what harm could it do? And so, with a determined breath, she began reading.

_Dear Diary,_

_I just had a gay mental epiphany._

_I think I’m in love with Cathy._

_Oh wow. When you put it that way this seems like some big Broadway musical or something. No way. Actually, that’s ironic considering we created Six the Musical... which is a hit Broadway musical... but that’s not the point. I’m just saying it sounds superficial, cliché, and.. It’s actually a lot worse, and not as beautiful as musicals glorify it to be. It’s literally consuming me alive._

_But anyways... back to my epiphany. Today we finished the two day show on a good note. Megasix was super fun, and we were all ready to go home._

_I share a dressing room with Annie. She was bouncing around on an Instagram Live or something, while I was in the corner taking off my makeup._

_And oh my god what happened next is something that I’m hardly comfortable writing about, but I will for the sake of this dumb entry._

_So Anne is jumping around like the hyper gremlin she is, and motherfreaking Cathy walks in, wearing nothing but a_ _sports bra_ _._

_Oh god. I’m mentally punching myself here, because it makes it seem like I’m objectifying Cathy for her body._

_Which, by the way, she has ABS?!!_

_Off topic._

_But no. While my soul may have left my body when she walked in to say hi on Anne’s live before leaving, there are so many other reasons why I love Cathy._

_It is 4 in the morning, fuck it. I’m going off on a rant here._

_Cathy is just the embodiment of perfect. She’s unbelievably kind and sweet, like whenever she calls me ‘kitten’ I just get all gooey and mushy inside. Which, on other occasions, like when Annie does it - it doesn’t do tHiNgS to me - but when Cathy does it I just turn into a gay mess. (I just had a thought: that sounds incredibly nsfw-- you know, me getting mushy when she calls me kitten. But NO! I am wholesome. It just makes me die of gay, y’know?)_

_She’s so clumsy, but she could also clock you in the face if you insulted her or any of us. That’s so endearing to me. And she’s a nerdy dork. Always reading, she is. Once I stayed behind late in the changerooms to clean up because Annie left her shit everywhere, so I ended up leaving 3 hours later. And who do I see lounging on a couch in the lounge, reading freaking MOBY DICK?!!! CATHY, THAT’S WHO!!!_

_Oh god. I’m such a mess. But it’s also so relieving to release all my built up tension~ through this journal. So in a way, I guess Lina was right when she told me journaling is therapeutic. I should thank her for getting me this._

_But back to the topic of my hopeless pining!!_

_There are so many things I could say about her. But it’s hard to pin them down. It’s really just the little things, like how her voice echoes when she sings IDNYL in Six and makes my heart flutter like a freaking butterfly, or how her face just lights up whenever she opens a book. Books aren’t exciting to many people, including me, but I would pick one up with her in a heartbeat_ **_just_ ** _because she loves them so much._

_And Jesus, I can barely function around her. I’m not even exaggerating when I say I can’t freaking breathe when she looks at me, or smiles at me, or says my name. Or hugs me. She’s so soft, and gentle, but also witty, and oh my god she’s SO SMART..._

_I’d say I’m a simp for Cathy, but that’s, again, superficial. ‘Simp’ is the result of internet culture, and while my feelings do match up with the (vague) definition of ‘simp’, it doesn’t match. Besides, I know Cathy pretty personally. The fact that we shared an ex-husband is a factor that automatically makes us pretty well-acquainted. And that’s not something simps can share._

_For me, I love Cathy on a much deeper level. Something much more profound than internet culture can hope to achieve. Of course, we all love her. And each other. I know Cathy loves me too, but anything more than on a platonic level is something I can only dream of._

_I think that Annie knows, or at least has a suspicion, about my (un)requited love for Cathy. She can just tell these sorts of things - I mean, she got Jane and Lina together, for heaven’s sake!! But really. I have no idea how she’s so romantically in tune, considering she hasn’t been in a (healthy) relationship that’s lasted for over a week. I’m not even joking, and it pains me to see her like this - I can tell she’s longing for_ _some_ _romantic company, but I don’t really know what to do. Contrary to her areas of expertise, I’m a dunce in romance._

 _Gosh, I got really poetic there... but seriously. I can’t really say anything else at this point. I just poured my heart and soul onto these three pages, and to be honest I’m quite proud. I think, considering this_ _is_ _gay pining, it’s not nearly as bad and chaotic as I thought it would end up._

_But oh, the chaotic endings I can imagine if someone got a hold of this journal and read my hopeless pining for a certain adorable, curly-haired, nerdy, caffeine powered blue queen. The chaos this would cause.. Especially confrontations; I despise those above all._

_The only thing I’m genuinely worried about (besides house-wide embarrassment and teasing) is what this will do to my relationship with Cathy. She’s, as aforementioned, very dorky and nerdy, and as far as I can tell, she has no idea about my crush. I intend to keep it that way, which is why I’m probably gonna stash this journal in her room. I’m thinking behind her books in that bookshelf - I doubt she even reads those books, they’re so dusty._

_I’m in way over my head with this love, oh no._

_I’m gonna sign off here because I genuinely have no idea what to say anymore._

_\--Kitten_

Kat closed the book, her eyes wide and her breathing quite shallow. Had she really written all _that_?

This crush was worse than she thought. Though she _was_ exaggerating - she actually **could** breathe when Cathy hugged her, or when she said her name (though it wasn’t without difficulty) - it was still, clearly, affecting her.

Despite herself, she couldn’t help but grin. Considering the fact that while she’d been writing it, she’d been on the verge of a panic attack, the writing wasn’t half bad. And the use of metaphors was definitely appreciated.

But holy moly. Was she really _that_ whipped for Cathy?

 _Pff. I already know the answer to that question_ , she thought with a slight grimace.

Kat placed the journal beside her on the bed, making sure to loop the band around the cover so it didn’t accidentally spill open. She sat in silence for a while, not really thinking, but bearing nothing in mind either. Vaguely, from downstairs, she heard the front door open, and a wave of chatter filled the house.

“Hello London!” Anne shouted into the house, echoing Lina’s introductory line in the musical. Kat smirked and shook her head -- Anne was so chaotic sometimes -- and laughed softly when she heard Lina scold her quietly. Probably because she almost woke Jane up, or had already woken her up. Lina would kill Anne if her girlfriend’s sleep was disturbed.

Kat didn’t move from her bed, feeling quite tired after a lazy day, until she heard someone approaching her door. Feeling quite panicky, she quickly grabbed her journal and shoved it under her covers right as her cousin walked (or barged, to put it better) into her room.

“Hey, Kitty. Whatcha got there?” Anne asked with a wicked grin. Kat rolled her eyes, masking her momentary panic.

“It’s nothing,” she replied nonchalantly, before proceeding to change the subject. “So where’d you guys go?”

Anne didn’t seem to pick up on the subtle topic shift, which Kat was grateful for. “We went to the mall. I saw an epic pair of Heely’s, but Lina said I couldn’t get them ‘cause I’d destroy the house,” she explained with a pout.

“That was probably a wise decision,” she muttered under her breath, earning her an incredulous glance from Anne, followed by a leap onto the bed.

“Betrayal!” Anne shouted as she soared spectacularly through the air.

Kat shrieked at the sight of the gremlin hurling herself towards her, and quickly scrambled back against the wall, effectively avoiding any major damage the impact could’ve had. 

When Anne landed on the bed, her weight caused the mattress and her covers to bounce up, revealing the black journal. Its dark tone contrasted starkly with Kat’s bright pink sheets, and Anne’s gaze flitted to it immediately.

Kat paled as she watched her cousin’s expression morph from confusion, to amusement, to downright maliciousness. She could only watch as Anne picked it up. Thankfully, she hadn’t opened it yet. 

Anne’s words jolted her from her momentary stupor as she said, “Got something to hide, now, do we? What secrets are you keeping from me?”

Anne lifted the journal, holding it right in front of Kat’s gaze. The pink queen snatched it out of Anne’s hand, and quickly shoved it behind her bed.

Anne raised an eyebrow. “I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other, chaton!” she protested, earning a slight chuckle from Kat - though the pink queen’s laughter was tinged with a hint of terror.

When Kat still didn’t respond, instead opting to fiddle with the hem of her shirt, the playful grin from Anne’s face faded. She cocked her head to the side slightly, gently placing a hand on her cousin’s shoulder.

“Chaton? You alright?” she asked. Kat swallowed thickly but nodded.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay. It’s just.. something personal,” she reassured her cousin with a small smile. Anne didn’t look convinced in the slightest - her green eyes were tinged with worry - but she could tell Kat didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so she let it slide.

“That’s okay. I understand,” she told her with a smile. Kat gave her a grin, which Anne returned before sitting next to her cousin and lifting her knees up to her chest.

Kat was slightly confused when Anne’s face morphed into an expression of suggestiveness. The green queen raised one eyebrow, the corner of her mouth curling up into a smirk.

“What is it?” Kat asked hesitantly, suspicious of Anne’s sudden shift in mood.

“Oh, well. Speaking of secrets... I was up pretty late last night. It was around 4am when I heard some... interesting noises coming from your room. Care to explain?” she questioned, poking Kat’s thigh.

The pink queen’s body went from hot to cold as she realized what her cousin was implying, and gave Anne a steely glare. Though, her mouth was twitching slightly, so Anne could tell she wasn’t actually mad.

“Annie! I didn’t fuck Cathy!” Kat exclaimed, immediately covering her mouth when she realized how loud her outburst was. Anne collapsed into a fit of giggles as Kat bit her lip, trying not to think too much about their most recent discussion topic.

Of course, it was only made worse when who should enter the room but the survivor herself?

“Oh, hi, Cath,” Anne greeted her, still bearing that wicked smile. Cathy was also smirking ~~in a very hot way~~ , as she entered the room and sat on the foot of Kat’s bed. The pink queen couldn’t help but curl her toes in, falling silent.

“Excuse me? What are you suggesting Kitty and I did?” she asked in amusement. Kat swallowed inaudibly, giving Cathy an extremely embarrassed smile. There were butterflies in her stomach at the nickname, just like she’d written in her journal.

Anne shot her a cocky grin. “You can’t blame me; it was pretty loud.”

Cathy simply shook her head with silent laughter. “Oh, Anne,” she said with a sigh, addressing the gremlin, who was watching the two of them with an indescribable expression on her face.

“Alright, well, dinner’s soon. So come down when you’re ready to eat,” Cathy told them, getting up from the bed and walking towards the door. Before she exited the room, she cast one glance over her shoulder right at Kat.

As much as her face was heating up, the pink queen couldn’t look away. There was something indecipherable in Cathy’s gaze-- it looked like... longing?

Kat shook her head. That was wrong, she thought. She must’ve been seeing things. Why would Cathy be longing for.. her?

While she was caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t notice Anne studying her face intently. When she finally looked over, her heart sank into her stomach for the third time that night at Anne’s expression. 

“Will you wipe that smug look off your face?” Kat protested, cutting Anne off. 

“You like Cathy!” Anne whisper-shouted, completely ignoring her cousin’s previous request. Anne’s suspicions were only confirmed when Kat could do nothing but look away in reply, though the red blush spreading across her face confirmed anything but denial. Anne’s smile softened, and she tilted her head, completely enamored with how adorable Kat looked.

“My baby cousin’s going to get a girlfriend!” Anne sang beside Kat’s ear. Kat glared at her, pushing her away, and Anne collapsed backwards, clutching her stomach and laughing softly.

Meanwhile, Kat had her hands pressed over her eyes as she let out a long groan. “I knew you’d find out about this eventually,” she muttered. Anne just rolled her eyes. 

“Well, duh. I’m the sexpert of the house - what did you expect?” she boasted. Kat gave her an incredulous look.

“Don’t ever fucking tell me that again,” she said with a pointed look, tightening her ponytail. Anne rolled her eyes yet again, flipping her thick dark hair over her shoulder.

“It’s true!” Anne declared haughtily, hopping off the bed in one arching motion and crossing the room to the door. “Now let’s go eat dinner. I bet Jane cooked up a feast.”

This time, it was Kat’s turn to roll her eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, walking through the door after Anne.

_Great. I’m probably in for a serious shit show now that Annie knows._

Kat snorted inwardly, rethinking that statement.

_Yep, I’m definitely fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bro i’m so tempted to write *suggestive* kittycath
> 
> but i’m also a VERY young minor-- is that even legal..?? (my bday is soon tho :O)
> 
> ....you know what? i’m doing it because i’m lonely and craving parrward really bad,,, so that’ll be posted sometime later - i’m literally working on suggestive parrward before i’m even done this chapter lmao
> 
> about the actual fic, hope you enjoyed !! <33

**Author's Note:**

> we love some good parrward friendship
> 
> but in all honesty, is this really just friendship we’re talking about??
> 
> \---
> 
> hope you enjoyed (ps i posted my angst chapter :D)


End file.
